From the Vault : Grown - up boys.

I pulled this from old notes on FB. I hope you enjoy!

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**QUICK Disclaimer** This is long. I’m in a weird head place right now. Enjoy!

For the last few months I've been "single Emily." Its been fun. I've met a lot of new people, reconnected with some really old friends, and visited folks I hadn't seen in months, or even years. I've also missed out on some things, and had my fair share of frustration / drama / confusion. This latter part is MOSTLY what my note (re: blog) is about.

I'm at work today, and there are maybe a total of 4 people in the entire office, one of which being me, and the other three being the receptionist, and two other people at the other end of the hall. So I've basically been sitting here alone and in silence interrupted by my random needs for music since 8 AM. That's lead to a lot of thinking on my part.

It took a few months for me to realize that dating would be fun again, and meeting new people would be enjoyable, and that it's really one of my favorite things to do. I love the me that I am when I'm interested in someone new. I love that I have such a startling ability to hide my neuroses. All that being said, I’m really beginning to feel frustrated with guys, and I’m trying to be more introspective about what it is I’m actually looking for. I’m also ready now to talk with / date someone I actually might develop feelings for, but those months where I was picking you guys who I knew would never be a “problem” in this area… that was nice. That being said… the following is a brief outline of my frustrations and desires.

I’ve said it to many of you; I really genuinely want a guy who is slightly homosexual. Please don’t take this to mean that I hope you have butt sex from time to time… that’s really not attractive. Mostly what I mean is that you enjoy looking good. You take pride in your appearance, and when I take you to a restaurant that doesn’t give you condiments in little plastic packages you look like a human being, not like you’re still in college, or even high school. *Shudder* Also, I’m really looking for a guy that has a decent place to go home to at night. Seriously guys, if you’re going to be dating and bringing a girl home – get a fucking trash can in your bathroom. I mean, come on. It’s just something we girls need. Also, have BOTTLED WATER and CLEAN TOWELS. Girls like this. I swear. After you’ve taken us out to drink heavily the night before, when we wake up at 7 AM because the light from your uncovered window is giving us a massive headache, we’d really like to re-hydrate and shower. I’m really not into the whole “college bachelor” apartment anymore. I’ve moved past that stage in my life. If you have roommates, have a bathroom attached to your room so that I don’t have to get dressed in my sluttly club / bar clothes to wash my face or pee.

I think my biggest turn-on would have to be intelligence. This proves to be a problem, because I don’t regularly meet people who I feel it’s a challenge to talk to. Now, I meet people all the time that seem fun, or that I would like to spend some time with, but rarely do I feel like sparring with them intellectually. This is disappointing. I know I’m not a genius. I just like to learn things. So when I’m speaking with a guy who is not only teaching me things, but keeping up a “chess-game-like” conversation, I pretty much would like to make out with you right then. That being said, being with guys like this make me feel more insecure and uncomfortable, because I am SURE they are more intelligent than me, and my own failings will be more apparent to them than any of my other friends.

Now we’re going to talk about post-making out. I promise you that this does not mean that I am or that I want to be your girlfriend. If we have very tentative plans, and somehow you don’t show up, I’m sure I’ll survive, because I’m probably out doing something else, or catching up on some much needed me time. It’s really ok. But when you do it consistently, don’t get all surprised when I stop trying to get in contact with you.

Post making-out also includes the possibility of sex, or other sexual actions. This is OK too. I’m grown, liberated, single, and I genuinely enjoy sex. It doesn’t always mean that I want to have sex with you again, or to the other extreme, that all I want to do is have sex with you. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that is exactly what I want from some of you… but others leave me feeling really frustrated.

From the best of craigslist: this is what I want. Pretty much exactly
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/363233143.html